The summary:

I received a long email recently from an utterly despondent woman (that I’ll call Ellen) who was caught in a devastating situation. A year ago, she was a stay-at-home mother with three preschool-aged children. Her husband worked at a high-paying job that seemed to have great long-term potential and it seemed as though their life was set.

Then, very suddenly, her husband died in a car accident, and there wasn’t much life insurance money. Within months, she was back in the workplace at a fairly low paying job, her family had moved into a tiny apartment, and the house was up for sale. Then, just as quickly, she was laid off from that job and the house sold for roughly what was still owed on it. Within a year, she was back living in her parents’ basement, a single mother with three young children and few assets to her name, searching for any job in her field of expertise while working as a gas station attendant.

There are many families who choose to be single earners while one parent stays at home. There are many good, and valid reasons for doing so. However, there is significant risk of a catastrophic situation described by Ellen. The stay at home parent has been out of the work force for a long time, and is behind in skills and work experience. The health insurance they depended on is suddenly gone. The assets they had saved isn’t adequate, and she realizes it too late.

No one can see the future, however, everyone can assess their risk areas. For single earner families, what happens when your husband is suddenly out of the equation? Gets fired from his job? Dies in an accident? Decides he’s just not in love with you any more? Plane crashes on a weird tropical island and he can’t escape?

Emergency Fund. Yeah, you knew I was going to say that. No matter whether you are a single or dual income family, you have got to make sure you have enough money saved that will take you through 3,6, or 12 months worth of bills. That will buy you some time if one of those situations occurs. You can focus on your grief and getting things in order for your next step. If you have children, this is your number one priority.

Keep working on your skills. In today’s internet age, there’s no reason why you can’t keep current on some of your area of expertise or learn a new skill. If you were a web designer before quitting your job, keep designing. Learn a hobby or skill where you can make side money that can turn into a career if need be. JK Rowling is the ultimate inspiration for this. Some professions will be easier to do this than others.

Life insurance is a tricky one. Not everyone will qualify. It is not easy to get, but it’s easy to get trapped by a scummy plan. I would rather rely on my own income potential and investments. You can withdraw from Social Security, 401Ks, and IRAs in some dire circumstances. I would rather put money I would pay to a life insurance policy into one of these instead, but your mileage may vary. Of course, a 401K or IRA won’t help you if you don’t have them or are not a beneficiary. If you are dependent on a single earner, make sure you are involved with this.

I know it sucks to think about whether the one you love is going to be suddenly gone. But if you realize you would be sh*t up the creek instead of grieving, and think you could handle it, you need to start thinking about it.