The Economist: A Boom in Online Dating

When I first moved to Seattle, I found the dating scene to be a little – odd.  It was a city full of professional, successful singles.  Maybe too successful.  Too many seemed more interested in staying single.

Maybe I was especially unlucky, but I seemed to get all the commitment phobes.  We would have a nice date, say we would go out again…then we never went out again.  Hmm.  I got to the point where I figured it was some sort of polite local lingo that “I had fun!  Let’s go out again!” meant, “We’ll never go out again”.  I felt like a country gal – I didn’t get it.  Didn’t having fun with someone mean you should hang out again?  I found out later there was a name for it – “The Seattle Freeze”.

Yep, yep.  I bought the book He’s Just Not That Into You while I tried to figure it out.

In my utter state of confusion, one of my friends made the observation that singles life in Seattle is good.  Very good.  There isn’t a whole lot of incentive for people to make lasting relationships.  Singles here are usually successful, career oriented people who can afford the singles lifestyle, the house and the car without the messy stuff that goes into relationships.  They can avoid the possible disappointment altogether.

What’s your take?  Why is online dating enrollment up during the recession?  Why the newfound interest in finding a partner?

Shark Attacks Decline Worldwide in Midst of Economic Recession

Are you avoiding shark infested waters due to the recession?

Worldcom was my employer’s client during the dotcom boom and crash.  Many of my friends were legacy employees from the MCI days, who saw the company they were loyal to destroy their retirement pensions in scandal.  Many people may say it was their fault, and should have diversified better.  However, these were real people who did nothing wrong other than be loyal and trust their employer.  They didn’t cook the books, nor could they have known.  They paid a terrible price.

I learned to be wary of company loyalty.

The current generation graduating college today is entering a period of financial hardship far worse than the tech bust.  Pensions are rarely offered these days.  401Ks and IRAs have taken over as the retirement of choice.  They were sold as being able to make your own choices about retirement.

Great idea.  However, with the job market shrinking during this massive economic contraction and retirement funds down 40% or more, I wonder if the current generation will view the stock market with the same skepticism I have about working with the same company for 15 years.  A lot of these kids’ parents will be unable to retire when they originally planned.  They will need to stay in the work place longer to make up for the lost funds.  Many children will need to financially support their parents.  The baby boomer crisis with social security just became a lot worse with them now also losing their 401K and IRA values.   We will all collectively be responsible for paying down the debt, fairly or not.  Will there be such a thing as retirement for most of us?

Many people are selling the down stock market as a great time for young twenty somethings to invest.  They may have the best opportunity to make lemonade out of Wall Street lemons.  I hope, though, that there will be a lesson not forgotten.

Let’s assume you are in a nightmare scenario.  You are laid off.  You have a mortgage, credit card debt and a small amount of money in an emergency savings fund.  You were just starting to pay off your bills, and save in your fund.  You could be out of work for 6 months to a year, and you only have 1-3 months of money in your savings account.  There’s not much you can do.  You have to figure out how to stretch what you have.

It’s great that you have that emergency savings.  Try to minimize the use of your credit cards (stop altogether if possible) and stretch that money out as far as you can.

Get a list of all your recurring expenses.  If you have cable, usually people would say this is the first to go.  I say it depends.  If you live in an area where cable is your only choice for high speed internet, then you should probably keep it.  I live in Seattle where there is an abundance of free WiFi coffee shops, so I would cancel my service.  Losing internet is not an option in today’s world.  It’s a necessity to find jobs competitively.

I would not drop my cable and switch to another carrier.  There will be signup fees and a new modem purchase for DSL (or other).  These are expenses cannot be afforded at the moment.  Drop the cable to basic and keep the internet.  Cancel TiVo or On-Demand subscriptions.  I watch my favorite shows (Lost, Heroes) and movies when I want on Hulu.com or Netflix.

Don’t cancel Netflix.  Same with the World of Warcraft subscription.  This is different than what most people would say.  Why I say that is because I’d go crazy if I don’t have something fun to do.  Also, if there is entertainment at home, I am less likely to spend money at the bars and club, which are clearly a must-go expense.  If you have the discipline to dust off your old stand alone games without a subscription, canceling your WoW account would obviously be even better.

If you have an expensive cell phone plan, this can be tricky.  Normally, this is also an area that you would want to trim back on.  It gets tricky because of contract terms.  This is why I don’t have an iPhone – I don’t want to be locked into a 2 year contract for this reason.  Here is what I would do.  The contract should be for service with AT&T, not the iPhone itself.  Even the cheapest iPhone plan ($60) is more expensive than basic AT&T mobile phone service.  I would see if I could buy a cheap basic phone, and have AT&T transfer your phone number and contract to that phone, then end your iPhone service.  Sell your iPhone.  I don’t have an AT&T phone or iPhone, so I’m not sure if this will work.  Call AT&T and ask.

Eat at home.  I’ve started a series on Recession Recipes at my Calorie Crunch blog. These are designed to be easy, minimal cooking skill (can you boil water and chop an onion?), economical recipes that almost anyone can fit in their schedule.

You’re going to have to find creative ways to stretch your money to pay your mortgage.  I am assuming that if you hadn’t been laid off, you would already be fine with your mortgage payments.  If you have a spare room or basement with junk, empty it and rent it to a college student.  There’s still high demand for rentals.  Your new housemate can help subsidize a fraction of your mortgage.  It will at least stretch your savings a small bit, buying you a little more time.

Pay the minimums on your credit card and do not miss a payment! You cannot afford for them to assess penalties, late fees and increase your interest rate. As soon as you get the bill from them, send the minimum immediately. Do not try to float close to the due date and earn a little more interest on your savings – it’s not going to help you at this point.   You need to make sure that payment gets there on time.  If you miss a single payment, it’s game over.  You will go into the credit card debt spiral with no near term end. 

Do not use credit cards for emergencies.  This is why you need an emergency savings account with good hard cash.  If you do not have an account with cash, how are you going to make the minimums on your credit cards?

Do not listen to people who say if you don’t spend, then we can’t revive the economy.  If you lost your main income and are living on savings, you are in survival mode.  You are in no position to be a consumer.

For those of us who still have jobs, keep pushing down that debt and put as much as you can into the emergency savings account.

Let’s go over some of the basics.

It saves you money.  This is true.  I can buy a grass fed prime steak with asparagus, mashed potatoes and a glass of wine for less than half of what it costs to eat out at a comparable quality restaurant.  My average prime steak dinner with the fixings costs me an average of $14 per plate, including the glass of wine.  Increase to $16 if I have 2 glasses of wine.  Tipping is not necessary, but compliments ensures there will be no crying.  This dinner with wine at my favorite restaurant in Seattle would cost me close to $60 per plate.

You don’t need to be ultra frugal to do this.  Whole Foods isn’t known for being cheap eats, but grass fed steak is delicious.  If you want to save a few bucks, meat from the chain supermarkets are fine (but rather bland).   If you are just learning to cook, don’t practice with the finest steaks from Whole Foods right away.  Cooking steak to temperature is an advanced skill that takes some practice to learn to do right.

I buy my veggies and produce from farmer’s markets, which are in abundance in Seattle. 

The wine usually comes from Trader Joe’s.  A good bottle of wine doesn’t have to cost a fortune.   It’s even easier to get a great quality wine for under $10 if you live in wine country like Washington or California.

You know what ingredients are in it.  I’m certain there’s never any spit in my food.  Or food coloring, or pig feet, or whatever.

It’s Healthier.  Most restaurants go very heavy on the fat and oil.  It tastes gooood, but it also packs on extra calories.  Most of us have desk jobs, so this is a bad combo.  Restaurants typically serve portions 2-3 sizes larger than we need.  This can also contribute to the ‘spread’.  Over the years, I’ve become very good at making single serve portions for 1 or 2 people.  My food waste is down, not to mention my girly waist.

So those are the basics that are usually covered by most personal finance enthusiasts.  How do you find time to do this as a young career professional?

Cooking Classes.  First, you need to learn how to cook.  You need to know how to use your knives and pans.  If you have a good paying job, look around in your area for cooking classes taught by chefs.  They are not cheap, so pick wisely when you are first starting out.  I recommend classes with knife skills, and cooking basics to start with.  Cooking classes are also great to mingle, at least, in the Seattle area.  A lot of single professionals here take cooking classes to network or meet other singles.  With the economic downturn, this is probably a more expensive option that can easily be replaced with alternatives.

If your budget is tight, there’s the Food Network on cable TV.  I learned most of my cooking skills and techniques from Alton Brown’s “Good Eats” and Rachael Ray’s “30 Minute Meals”.  I’ve now graduated to Martha Stewart.  Rachael Ray’s methods works really well for what I’m talking about here.  Chop stuff up, throw it in a pot, and eat.  Plus she shows you how to multitask many dishes.  Start the pasta boiling while chopping up veggies for your sauce.  Alton Brown is geeky fun that you can eat.

If you canceled your cable because you’re so bogged down in debt and are cutting out lattes, then there’s the internet.  Search on YouTube for free videos on how to dice or chop an onion.  Then go to All Recipes and find recipes for stir fry.

Once you have a few basic skills, you can make almost anything.  I still can’t make Indian curries.

Get a CrockPot. They’re not just for church picnics and soccer moms!  They are so freaking easy.  Chop an onion (see YouTube above), chop a carrot, celery, potatoes, stew meat, a can of tomato sauce, 1/2 cup water, salt/pepper, and throw it in your pot section the night before you go to work.  Put in the the fridge.  In the morning before you go to work, put it in the crockpot base and turn on low.  When you come home, dinner’s done!  Get a bowl, a spoon and your Netflix.

Grocery Shopping.  Where to find the time to go grocery shopping?  The weekends.  I buy a week’s worth of produce and meat on Sunday, which as a single person is not much.  A 1 pound steak (which makes two-three steak dinners with the proper portion control) and a package with 4 chicken breasts.   Because I live in Seattle, there’s usually 1/4 lb of fresh salmon in there too. I tend to pre-prepare my food chopping for the week.  I call it my “Martha Stewart” Sundays.  I chop up an onion and bell peppers, then put it in a container in the fridge.  When I cook during the week, I’ve already done my chopping.  I just need to throw it in the pan.  I used to buy my produce (and a croissant) at Pike Place Market in the morning, do my chopping mid morning, then meet my friends somewhere fun in the afternoon.  There is no slaving in the kitchen all day in my life.

The Downside. Now the really crappy part to all of this is the dishes.  I feel your pain – I hate dishes.  But it’s got to be done.  I find that if I wash dishes as I go, after chopping and throwing in the pan, that it’s easier to maintain.  A bit of multitasking.  A dishwasher is also a darn fine thing.

Between Rachael Ray’s 30 minute cooking style and a crockpot, I eat healthy meals at home most days of the week.  I still have time to go to the gym, read/write blogs, do my homework, have fun with friends and hold down a full time job.  I go out for happy hour or a nice dinner a couple times a week.